High School was not that fun for me. I got a lot of grief from a lot of girls, but I had a lot of “friends” as well. Friends that were into sports, art, classes, skipping classes, you name it. I couldn’t really tell you ‘what I was into’ because I didn’t really know where I belonged.
I pretended to be soooo confident. Borderline arrogant. This is so embarrassing, but I remember my voice mail for the longest time was, “Hey this is Chelsey, leave a message and if you’re lucky I’ll call you back.” Once my Esthetics teacher left me a voice mail saying, “Umm… Chelsey, you aren’t at school today, so you better call me back.”
I didn’t realize until years after high school just how lost in myself I really was. I didn’t KNOW myself. I was NOT confident. I wasn’t necessarily a go-with-the crowd kind of girl but I also didn’t always stand up for things I believed in when I should have.
I thought I was pretty. I knew I was smart. I was pretty funny but I definitely didn’t want to be just the funny girl. I was complex. I think every girl goes through a time in her life where she is hard on herself. Doesn’t feel good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, fit enough. I had an amazing upbringing, tons of love and affection from both my mom and my dad. Always encouraged, never put down or spoken negatively around. I think high school is just one of those times where you are trying to figure yourself out. Gosh I am glad that phase of my life is over. Sometimes I would like to go back and repeat it as the woman I am today. I feel like Centralia High School would never be the same again. 😉
But how often do you hear someone say something negative about themselves? Grown women, not just high schoolers. I hear it everyday, all day. I heard several things today, “I have never thought I was pretty!” “I am so fat, I feel gross!” “Yeah right, I will never look like that.” Oh. My. Gosh. This breaks my heart! Like really, really does. I definitely catch myself occasionally doing this but I really try hard to not put myself down. It makes me so sad to hear women say these things about themselves. To know that this is how they really feel. When I look in the mirror I definitely notice things I am not loving, but I really do love myself! I think it is sooooo amazing that we are the only ones (besides our Creator, himself) who know ourselves so well. Even your spouse, your parents, your sister, your best friend, your dog, doesn’t know you like you do. I love my humor, my love for lyrics, my creative side, my heart for people, my thoughtfulness. I love so many things about the person that God made me to be. And that is not arrogant, my friend.
I have some of the BEST conversations with clients. Today, one of my girls and I were just really talking about real life stuff and building one another up and when she got up to get her things together she looked at me and said, “Man, I always leave my facial feeling so much better about things after talking to you. Chelsey, you and I, we are really going places.” Wow. That was probably one of the nicest compliments I have ever gotten. To know that someone feels better after being round me. What a nice thing to hear. And this client does the same for me. We feed off each other’s positive energy. I compliment her on the things that I see in her. And I truly mean those compliments.
Here’s one I am super guilty of: How often have you gotten a compliment like, “You look really pretty today,” or “I love your sweater” etc and then you comeback with “Oh, please, I look terrible.” or “This old thing? I didn’t have time to get ready today.” Uhhh…okay. I once was at one of my best friend’s house and her roommate was not a fan of mine, we all knew it but weren’t sure why. I was paying this girl a sincere compliment when I said, “Hey so and so, I love your haircut, that looks so good on you!” And she responded with, “I hate it. I wish I never would have cut it.” I slowly made eyes at my friend, like… ‘hey, we should go.’
I may decide to share this smaller personal challenge I am doing this week, but I am not quite sure yet. But for now, I challenge you right now to make a list of 25 things you like about yourself. Seriously. Do it. Read it over and over. COMPLIMENT YOURSELF. In this day in age, pressure to be something is everywhere. Way worse than high school. Social media, magazines, internet, tv. Be skinnier, fitter, prettier, better! How about you be yourself and love it?!? I have insecurities, sure. But I try to remember the person I am inside and love her because she deserves it. And so do you.