Finding “Me”

I’m a 20 something Licensed Esthetician from Columbia, MO. I am also a daughter, sister, friend, and my personal favorite; aunt. I love God, Marshall’s, a good eyelash curler, working out (okay that’s a lie, I love the idea of working out, someday I hope I actually love the act of working out,) my boyfriend, snail mail (as long as it’s not bills,) fashion, food and song lyrics.

As I write this first post I start to think about all the titles I have. From daughter to aunt. Though mommy or wife isn’t yet on my list, I think as women we tend to get caught up in all the things we are supposed to be or all the things we are to other people. Have you ever been asked in an interview, “Tell me about yourself.” Your first thought is ‘That’s easy’…then as you start talking you realize you are saying stuff about other people. ‘I am a mom of 3; two boys 7 and 9 and a girl who’s 4, I have a wonderful husband, yahty yahty yah.’ I don’t know about you, but for me, the last time I was asked that.. it left me feeling strange. Like who am I? How in the world do I not know the answer to that question or have much to say about it?

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my friend last New Year’s Day. We’ll call her Rebecca. I called Rebecca that morning to chat and she was in a terrific mood. She was recently going through a divorce, had a 14 year old..and a baby. To hear her answer so chipper was kind of surprising. She said she had went to a New Year’ Eve church service, the same one she had attended the previous year. She remembered when the pastor said last year “Who are you, where does your relationship stand with Christ, what direction is your life going?” she thought her life would be completely different by this New Year’s. And it was. But not like she had hoped. Yet she had such a peace about her. One I knew only came from God. This really made me think. What is my next New Year’s going to look like? Will I be engaged, will I have a more successful job, will I be in this place I am now; where I feel like I am just going through the motions of life? So often women have a “list” of life. Go to college, check. Get married, check. Have kids, check. Here I was working a decent paying job, but not my dream one, single, childless and 25. My mind ran immediately to my list and all the empty check mark boxes beside it. I didn’t want to be in the same place the next New Year’s. If I am still single, if I am at same job; ‘Okay God, then I will trust you.’ But I want to FEEL different. I want to KNOW who Chelsey is.

So recently I had an idea. I guess my mind takes awhile to think of a decent idea, because this is October and I was feeling this back in January. But hey, better late than never right? I have decided from now til the end of the year, I am going to do something once a week that gets me out of my comfort zone, something that brings out a different part of me that was in hiding. Whether, it’s trying hot yoga, or wearing that boho headband in my drawer that I love but feel uncertain about, I am going to do it! I really hope that you will not just follow along on my journey, but also embrace it and join me!

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5 Responses to Finding “Me”

  1. Twyla says:

    I love the idea of stepping out of your comfort zone once a week! I feel encouraged!

    Like

  2. Pingback: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. | lashes-to-lunges

  3. Emily says:

    I love this Chelsey!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Married and Looking…for a Challenge! | lashes-to-lunges

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